This is not the usual article you’ll read from me. This one is more personal, vulnerable, and open. This is a reminder from my past self to my present self.
I hope to inspire more people to be that way - to be more positive.
Note: This article was originally published in 2017 when I was 21 years old. I kept it as much original as possible.
Intro
“Stay Positive and it is what it is” is a phrase I’ve been saying for quite some time to my colleagues, friends, family, and most importantly to myself. Through this quote, I try to help them understand that if we look and think positively in every situation, we can only win, not lose. Why? Well, it’s very simple… In today’s article, I will guide you through several stages of my life, how I changed my thinking and attitude, and some of the lessons I’ve learned till now.
🌟In this article, you’ll learn:
- part of my story and a little bit about me
- the power of positive thinking and its importance
- my motto and my daily reminder
- the 7 lessons and takeaways I learned from my failures
The Start and The Body Transformation
It all started when I was 14-15 years old and decided that I didn’t like the way I looked. I was tall, and thin, with a bit of a belly, and not much energy. Overall, a “loser”. It was the worst combination (at least I had some abs 😅).
I decided it couldn’t be like this and told myself:
Buddy, either you start working out in the next 3 months with a strict diet, or you’ll remain a mess.
Then, I started training, eating healthy, moving more, and bringing food boxes to school, and gradually, the results started to come. I saw the first visual changes after 3-4 months but the inner changes started much sooner. After some time of struggle, consistency, and dedication, I achieved my goal - to build an athletic figure, full of energy.
Note: Of course, the process was not so straightforward but this story can be shared in more detail in a separate article.
I understood that:
💡Lesson Learned: To achieve a goal, you need to put in an X amount of effort. For some a little less. For others, a little more. But in the end, you’ll achieve it.
This was the first step towards positive thinking and changing my attitude towards life.
Even after 7 years, going to the gym is part of my life. Maybe because that’s the first thing in my life that helped me change myself for good… 🤷♂️ It’s part of me now.
The Big Disappointment and Second Emotional Breakdown
Then came the time for final exams in 12th grade and applying to universities. This was the second most challenging emotional moment in my life so far, after my parents’ divorce.
It didn’t show on the outside, but inside, the flame was dying…
I studied a lot, really a lot. I was applying abroad, in the UK. I had to take the IELTS exam. I failed two times to achieve the desired score. I also signed up for a third time.
I was good at math, so I decided to take the Math exam. I underestimated it. And I failed… I got 5.05 out of 6.00. It disappointed me a lot.
(Note: In Bulgaria, you have must-have exams after 12th grade - 1 about the Bulgarian language and 1 of your choice, so I chose Math.)
💡Lesson Learned: “Don’t underestimate anything.”
However, even with the not-so-satisfying IELTS scores and Math exam, I was accepted into top universities in the UK. Then, I talked with my parents… I realized they couldn’t afford my education abroad, so I had to stay in Bulgaria. My desire to study in the UK died.
Then, I applied to the local university in Sofia - the Faculty of Mathematics and Informatics, where I was not accepted into my desired program because of my low exam score in the Math exam.
I suffered several defeats in a row, despite the immense efforts. Then, I fell into an “emotional hole”. It was a tough few weeks, but still, there was hope inside me. I began reading inspiring and motivating articles, and quotes and started to reignite the flame of hope inside me. I spoke sincerely with myself and analyzed everything that happened so far. I understood that my curiosity and ambitions won’t be determined by where I study or in which country I am, but by myself. I understood that I had to put in more effort and at least try to achieve my goals. I took everything positive from what happened.
This was the second step stop towards framing my mentality and mindset.
The Gradual Change and Evolvement
After these moments, my gradual development in different areas of life began. My curiosity constantly grew, leading me to try different stuff. I can say I have various people who live within me and I began to listen and feed each one of them. I felt the progress I was making, step by step.
Gradually, I stopped comparing myself to others and what people think around me. The defeats I suffered led to an enormous desire for learning, development, improvement, and a thirst for success.
I realized I have to prioritize different things, fight for what I think is right, and generally do things that I think are right, and not the people around me.
During that time I framed my motto which was always with me.
I made the following changes in my room and many more in my head.
You Can’t Predict the Future
If we think about it, we’ll see that negative thinking and pondering - from what can go wrong, what will happen if we do this or that to what won’t happen, only harms us. These are things we can’t know in advance. We can’t be sure what will happen. We can’t predict the future.
The pondering of how the future will unfold is a total misery. It blurs our minds and thinking.
For some time I was overthinking that. I was trying to predict the future - from what would happen if I failed the upcoming exam to thinking of what to say to the girl in front of me. All this is nonsense.
💡 We can’t predict the future, so stop overthinking about it.
Thankfully, through these times, my motto was next to me to remind me about the rules of the universe.
Experimentation is Key
To see the final and actual result, we need to try something. We have to experiment.
Let’s assume I want to talk to a certain girl “Y”. The possible outcomes are as follows:
- The worst case - she rejects me. And that’s okay because I know she just doesn’t like me. I can move on.
- The neutral case - I have a 50/50 chance, so I’ll have to further explore.
- The best case - she responds. That’s awesome because she may like me.
Every life situation boils down to X different possible outcomes and to find out what will happen, we need to TRY and EXPERIMENT. Otherwise, we’ll just think and scratch our heads.
When we know the worst possible outcome, we prepare our minds for it and if the worst comes to pass, we won’t take it badly because we already knew there was such a possibility and hypothetically accepted it.
The best thing we can do is analyze the situation, look at ourselves from the outside, and see where we might have gone wrong, what we could or couldn’t have done, and why.
**Self-blaming doesn’t help.**It only hurts our lives.
What’s done is done… We have to move on.
Summary & Learned Lessons
- every goal can be achieved with a certain amount of effort and a passionate desire and commitment
- don’t underestimate people and situations around you
- be honest and open with yourself
- mistakes are okay as long as you do the retrospective and learn the lessons
- challenge yourself and try different things - water your curiosity like a plant
- aim for progress, even if it’s minimal - consistency is important
- think and see positively in every situation or its consequences